When we are broken, we respond to literally everything from a point of that brokenness. I will tell you a story about myself. I knew rejection from a young age (story for another day), I never really knew how to accept genuine love without questioning it. As a result, I settled for the bare minimum, anything that had a glimpse of love whether real or not I settled for that. I settled for toxic relationships whether friendships or love relationships or situationships you name it. But God allowed me to meet one of the people that love me genuinely, and that is my mother in the faith Pastor Gladys Paswani. I never actually believed it until this year, on the day before my birthday. She would constantly say to me “I love you Matilda, I pray you never forget that” and of course I would respond and say I love you too mum and I will never forget. But it never actually sunk within deep in my spirit. I would always ask myself, like why does she love me? I am not even a perfect girl, and I don’t buy her flowers every year on her birthday. To cut, a long story short I doubted her love for me because I was such a broken girl.
That’s the thing I learnt about brokenness and its cousin rejection, they teach you that you need to perform in order to be loved. In my previous post I spoke about shame (lol yes please feel free to go read it my sweerie☺️), one of its root cause is rejection. These guys make you think that you have to be a certain way so that you can be loved. But that’s a pure lie, God loves us without performance. He chose us first before we even said yes to Him (John 15:16). In His abundant love, He sacrificed His only Son for us (John 3:16). Like my friend Michelle would say “I mean if you didn’t cause someone to love you in the first place, what makes you think, something you do will make you stop them from loving you?”. (Inserts fire emojies).
Child of God, I really hope you know that there is nothing you can do to make God love you less or more. I told you I doubted mum’s love for me, because there are times when she told me not to do somethings or not respond to stuff in a certain way. And I still did it. Then I would still go back crying to her and she would patiently solve the stuff for me without making me feel like I am a problem.
That for me is true love and it’s how God loves us. The Bible says that He is a good Shepherd who leaves the 99 sheep to find find the one sheep that is lost. As if that’s not enough He welcomes back the lost sheep with songs of rejoicing (Mathew 18:12-14). Oh what a manner of love😭?
The late Bishop Noah Paswani, would often refer to an impure heart (filled with brokenness, anger and offense) as like having glasses with dirty lenses. Everything that you see with them will of course appear blurry, because your view is distorted (paraphrased).
To be honest, I feel like I am out of topic. But I know there is so much brokenness in the world. So if you have the opportunity to be the light in someone’s life please do that, extend love to the broken people because they need it. For anyone who feels so broken and you tried everything (drugs, alcohol, sex or anything) but it didn’t work, I am here to tell you that there is a Healer and His name is Jesus. There are voids that only He can truly fill. Often times the lie is that, if you are broken you will never be whole again. That’s what the enemy makes you feel like. But when Jesus heals, He heals completely. There is nothing that’s too broken, that He can’t rebuild or rather make whole. I pray that you will lay everything at His feet because He longs to heal you. I pray that the Lord will clean those dirty lenses for you. And that He will raise up people for you that can be nothing but a resemblance of His genuine love for you. May He mend your broken heart and may He be your Friend that sticks closer than a brother. Like how in Psalms 34, the bible says He is close to the broken-hearted and those that are crushed in spirit. I pray that He will be so close to you and that His love will overwhelm you so much that you feel safe enough to cry out to Him. In the name of Jesus.
“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light”.
Matthew 11:28-30 NLT
Love and Light